Rose
This is a short story I wrote for a college creative writing class based on another story I wrote sometime while in high school. My students in my writing club and I have been talking a lot about true crime lately, and one of our prompts for this week is centered around a murder that takes place on Valentine’s Day. That then reminded me of this story, so I decided to go back and give it a few edits before posting it here. The original story was written in a more linear fashion, but I liked the idea of challenging myself by jumping around the timeline and telling the story that way. I would also like to put a bit of a trigger warning for those reading this story as it features physical abuse and talk of self-harm.
**15 Months**
I walk down the school hallway and make my way to the cafeteria. Other students surround me, bragging about what trips they had gone on that summer and squealing when they see friends they hadn’t seen since May. I walk up to the table where my friends sit, the two of them talking excitedly to each other. They stop when they see me and we stare at each other for a few moments before I continue walking past them.
My eyes scan the crowded cafeteria for a few moments, stopping once I see Matt standing around with his other football friends. They break into a fit of laughter and I smile. After they calm down, Matt’s eyes meet mine across the room and he smiles.
I pull the sleeves of my jacket down over my wrists as he begins walking towards me, the sweet smell of peppermint and cigarettes hitting my nose. Once he gets to me, he looks down at my jacket and cocks his head to the side. “What’s with the coat? It’s like, a thousand degrees outside.”
I shrug. “It’s a little chilly in here,” I say and he rolls his eyes.
“Whatever. Have a heat stroke,” he says and I bite my lip. “Where were you last night? I tried calling.”
“It was family night, remember?” Matt puts his arm around my shoulders and we start walking back towards his friends.
“Family night? Seriously? Sounds lame.”
I sigh. “I guess. It was kind of nice hanging out with them. I feel like I hardly ever see them anymore.”
Matt looks down at me. “Rose,” he says. “Are you feeling okay?”
I smile. “Yeah, why?”
He laughs and stops, placing his hands on my shoulders. “Since when do you like spending time with your family? I mean, you’re always complaining about them.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy hanging out with them,” I say. “Plus, I’m always at your house. It was really nice just spending the time at home.”
He rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he says.
**0 Months**
I entered the school that would be my life for the next four years. I was so nervous and my hands shook as I walked through the big doors. Students walk around, talking loudly. A few girls passed me, a trail of perfume taking over my senses. They all wore cheerleading uniforms, like the ones in the movies. Their stomachs were bare and their skirts were short. Not exactly something I thought would actually be allowed in school.
I took a deep breath and continued on my way. Stacey and Chloe said to meet them in the cafeteria, an easy find. I tried my best to squeeze through the crowded hallway, but people just wouldn’t budge. Many of them were much taller than me. A lot of the guys were big in the shoulders, taking up most of the hallway as they stood directly in the middle.
After what felt like forever, I finally pushed my way through the crowd and into the cafeteria. Though, it was just as crowded as the hallway.
I sighed, my mind swirling. Great, I thought to myself. This is what I get to look forward to?
I made my way around the crowded cafeteria until I found my friends. “Oh my gosh,” I said. I sat down next to Chloe and turned to examine the chaos. “You guys will not believe the struggle I just went through.”
Chloe laughed. “Trust me, Rose. We know.”
Stacey took a sip of her water and smirked. “Hey, Rose. Looks like the football players are already taking an interest in you.”
I gave her a look but turned around to where she had been pointing. Two guys, one with long, brown hair and the other with short blonde hair, stare at me. The boy with brown hair noticed I had turned around and winked, causing my face to turn a bright red.
I quickly turned around and looked down at my lap. “Don’t look again” Stacey said, “but they’re walking over here now.”
The smell of cigarettes and peppermint instantly took over my nose and I froze. What do I say?
“Hey, there,” one of the guys said and I looked up. Ocean blue orbs met my eyes and the red in my face deepened.
“H-hi,” I stammered. He was gorgeous. And tall. And everything I hadn’t known I wanted until that very moment.
“I’m Matt,” he said. He lifted one leg and put it on the chair next to Stacey. “Welcome to Laker High School.”
**18 Months**
We pull up to my house and Matt quickly turns off the engine. He sits there in silence, his face forward. “Matt,” I start but he huffs and climbs out of the car. “Matt! Wait!”
He slams the door behind him and I quickly climb out of the car myself. “Not right now, Rose,” he yells as he walks up the steps to my house. He takes his spare key and quickly unlocks the door, leaving me behind him. I quickly run up to him and grab his arm.
“What is your problem?” I start to say, but I’m cut off when he whirls on me, the back of his hand meeting my face.
“I said not right now,” he snaps. He turns around and walks farther into my house, leaving me standing there. One would think I was used to this by now. But each hit, punch, or kick is just as surprising as the last. Taking a deep breath, I turn around to close the door. Thankfully Mom and Dad aren’t home, I think to myself. I try to collect myself before I go to the living room where Matt is surely waiting to tear me a new one.
I walk into the living room and there he is, sitting on the couch with his back to me. His long brown hair hangs just above his shoulders, curling slightly. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s had the same hair style. His head is down and I can tell he’s trying to control his anger. Shuddering, I bravely step forward and I keep doing so until I’m on the couch. Brown strands cover his face, hiding his eyes from me.
“Matt,” I start, cautiously reaching out to him. Before I can process anything, he grabs my hand and pulls me so that I’m on top of him. “Wha-?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. He kisses me and I melt into his arms. A voice in the back of my head tells me to stop, to get up and walk away. That this is what happens every time he hits me. But I choose to ignore it.
**1 Month**
“I love you, Rose,” Matt whispered in my ear and I blushed. This was the first time I have ever heard him use those words. Part of me thought it was weird seeing that we’ve only been dating for a few weeks, but I ignored that thought. I loved him, too, after all.
We stared into each other’s eyes for a long time, neither of us moving or saying a word. His eyes, a deep brown compared to my bright blue, was something I could get lost in for hours. He lifted a hand and caressed my cheek. He slowly leaned and kissed me. He tasted like peppermint and cigarettes, a taste that I have gotten used to and learned to love.
He deepened the kiss, pushing me back so that he was lying on top of me. His hands roamed and they slowly took off my shirt. I told him to stop, but he didn’t listen to me. “I love you, Rose,” he said, his face tormented. “Don’t you love me?” So I gave in. I gave into his words because I did love him. And if this was the only way to prove that to him, then I’ll do anything.
**32 Months**
“Matthew Connery,” Principle Rays says and Matt stands up from his seat. I clap along with his family as he walks onto the stage to accept his high school diploma. When he looks back at the crowd, his eyes land on me and I blow him a kiss. He gives me an annoyed look before walking off stage.
After the ceremony, I go and find Matt, still confused about our interaction from earlier. “Hey,” I say, grabbing his arm. “Are you okay?”
He forcefully grabs my hand and pulls me around a corner so that nobody can see us. “What was that?” He asks me and I take a step back, shocked by this sudden burst of anger. “What the hell was that, Rose?”
“What was what?”
He laughs. “We talked about this,” he says. “None of that cutesy shit when the guys are around.”
“I didn’t think they would see…”
He grabs me by the arm and digs his fingers into my shoulder, causing me to wince. “Why are you wearing a hoodie?” He snaps, changing the subject so abruptly that it takes me a moment to understand. “It’s eighty-fucking degrees out and you’re dressed like it’s the middle of winter.”
“I-I,” I stammer, but I can’t form any words.
He glares at me and using his other hand, grabs my other arm and wrenches the sleeve up to my elbow. His eyes focus on the small cuts across the skin, his face one of disgust. “Seriously?” He says. “You’re still doing this bullshit? You’re still hurting yourself?”
“They’re old,” I say, wrenching myself out of his grasp. Tears fall from my eyes and I gasp out in pain when he grabs my hair.
“And this bullshit,” he says. “Why’d you go and cut it and dye it blonde? You look bald.”
“I just wanted a change,” I cry out and he lets go of me.
“Stop crying,” he says and I bite my lip, but the tears don’t stop. He watches me for a moment, his eyes bright with anger. “Rose, seriously.” The anger slowly fades and he sighs before reaching out to me. I wince and he stops, giving me a guilty look. “I’m sorry,” he says, defeated. I nod in acceptance and allow him to pull me to his chest.
“Everything okay over here?” A new voice says and I look up from Matt’s chest to see his mother standing there, worried.
“Y-yeah,” I stammer. “I just got really emotional. I still have two years of high school left. It’s just not going to be the same once Matt is gone.” That’s probably a good thing, Rose. As always, I push that voice into the back of mind and smile. “I’ll be alright.”
She smiles. “Good!” She says. “Now let’s get going. We have a graduation party to get to.”
**8 Months**
Matt’s hand met my face and I fell back in shock. What just happened?
“You’re so stupid,” he said. “You really think it’s alright that you can go out at night and not tell me about it? There are bad people in this world, Rose. Disgusting men with an appetite for girls your age.”
I sat on the ground, still shocked by the fact that he just hit me. “Stacey wanted a girls night,” I said, my voice dull. “It was her birthday.”
“Yeah? Well, I don’t like Stacey,” he hissed. “Or Chloe. Or any of your friends for that matter.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat before I finally looked up at him. “You hit me.”
He rolled his eyes. “Stop being such a baby,” he said. “And don’t change the subject.” A tear rolled down my cheek as I continued to just stare at him. “It was an accident,” he snapped. “I just got so angry with you.” He fell to the ground next to me, his anger vanishing. “I’m sorry, Rose. It won’t happen again.”
I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but guilt. He didn’t mean to hit me. “I’m sorry,” I said, more tears making their way down my cheeks. “I’ll stop hanging out with Stacey and Chloe if you really don’t like them.”
He smiled and pulled me to him, his lips inches from mine. “Thank you,” he said before crashing his lips on mine. I surrendered myself to him, my mind racing. Oh, stop being so dramatic, Rose. He loves you. Why would he purposely hurt you?
**40 Months**
I take a deep breath and knock on the door. This is it, I think to myself as I wait for Matt to answer, my heart hammering in my chest. He opens the door to his dorm and looks at me with confusion. “Rose? What are you doing here?”
I take another deep breath and lift my chin up. “May I come in? We need to talk.”
He nods and lets me in. I haven’t visited his dorm in a while. His roommate has always given me the creeps. Not to mention Matt’s posters of half naked girls on the walls makes me rather uncomfortable. I had asked him to take them down but received a swift slap to face and I haven’t brought it up since.
“I haven’t seen you in awhile,” he says, grabbing me by the waist. “Come here.” He begins to pull me towards him, but I put my hands up to block his advances.
“No,” I say. First he looks confused, but it quickly slips to anger.
“No?”
I take a shaky breath and pull out of his arms. “I-I can’t keep doing this, Matt,” I say. “I’m breaking up with you.”
He laughs and it takes everything in me to not cower back in fear. “Rose,” he starts. “You’re not breaking up with me.” He steps closer to me and looks down at me.
“I am,” I challenge. “And this time, don’t expect me to come crawling back.”
He glares at me, his hands reaching out to grab my shoulders. He shoves me down to the ground, knocking the wind out of my lungs as my shoulder hits the corner of his bed. “Fine, then” he says, his voice cold and I grab my now hurting shoulder. “Get out.”
I blink at him. “Don’t need to tell me twice,” I say. I stand up and push past him. I manage to keep myself from crying the entire way home, though my shoulder feels like it got hit with a baseball bat. I’ll have to make sure it isn’t bruised, otherwise it’s t-shirts for the next couple days.
**18 Months**
I entered my house, a few stray tears still making their ways down my cheeks. My cheek hurt where Matt had punched me earlier that day. Apparently I had been flirting with his best friend, Adam. But if he had really been paying attention, I think he would have noticed that Adam was trying to flirt with me, not the other way around.
“Rose? Is that you?” My mom called from the front room. Crap. She’s going to see.
She walked into the front room and gasped the moment she saw me. “Oh my goodness. What happened?”
My dad walked in next. “What’s going on?”
My mom began to cry as she slowly walked up to me. “Are you alright? What did you do?”
I pushed her away. “Nothing,” I said. “I just fell.”
“Fell?” My father said, skeptical. “Yeah, right, Rose. Tell us what really happened.”
“I fell,” I snapped, getting angry. “I fell on some ice and hit my face on a mailbox. I’m already embarrassed enough as it is, so just drop it.”
I began to walk out of the room but my father's voice stopped me. “No, we are not just going to drop this, Rose.”
I glared at them. “Why do you guys even care?”
“Because we’re your parents,” Mom said, her eyes watering. “Did… Did Matt do this to you?”
I laughed, the sound cold and forced. “Matt would never hurt me,” I lied. “I know you guys don’t like him, but seriously? Matt loves me. And I love him.”
They both exchanged a look. “Okay,” Mom said, her voice shaky. “Okay. We’re sorry.”
I rolled my eyes and turned around. If they knew that Matt really was hurting me, there would be no convincing them that Matt really does love me. They’d probably force me to break up with him. Which I’ve done already. Several times. I just loved him too much to stay away.
**40 Months**
The machine beeps loudly, reminding me that this is the only reason why Matt is still alive. After I broke up with him yesterday, he had been so upset that he went out and drank so much that he blacked out. He got into his car, completely drunk, and wrapped the vehicle around a tree. Luckily he was the only one hurt in the accident.
He slowly opens his eyes and I reach out to grab his hand. “Hey,” I say softly.
“Rose?”
I smile. “I’m here,” I say and he smiles.
“I love you, Rose,” he says and I choke back my tears.
“I love you, too, Matt.”
**42 Months**
I stand out in the cold, shivering as I wait for Matt. He told me to meet him here at exactly six o’clock, but I know he would have been angry with me if I hadn’t shown up earlier, so I did. But where is he?
Today is his first day out of the hospital. It’s also Valentine’s Day, so I’m excited to see what he has in store. I walk down the path a bit and see his car sitting in the parking lot. I smile wide and walk up to it. I go to knock on the window when I see the head of a girl pop up in the window. Peering in, I notice that neither her or Matt are wearing clothes. My eyes go wide and I wrench the door open. “What. The. Hell?!” They both freeze and I just stand there, completely shocked. My mind goes blank and before I realize what I’m doing, I’m reaching in and tearing the girl off my boyfriend and onto the pavement.
“Rose!” Matt says, quickly climbing out. He rushes to put his pants on as I turn away and leave him and the girl at his car. “Rose!”
I turn around and glare at him. “I thought you were here to meet me!” Tears press in the back of my eyes. “Do you even care about me? At all?”
His eyes go wide. “Of course I do! What kind of dumb question is that?”
I glare at him. “Bullshit,” I say, quietly, my heart racing. “You never cared about me. Ever. All these years I put up with you hitting me. Tormenting me. I’m done.”
“Rose,” he says, getting closer. His eyes are hard as he looks down at me. “Don’t. Okay? I’m sorry. Is that what you want to hear?”
I glare at him and before I can stop, I punch him in the face. He steps back in shock and I smile. This feels good. I can see why he does it. I reach out and punch him again. I punch him again and he tries to stop me, but I pull myself back, furious. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his hand coming at me. He knocks me back before I can do anything, sending me to the ground. Normally I would stare up at him in shock while balling my eyes out. But not tonight.
I look down to see a large rock sitting right beside me. I look back at Matt who is walking back to his car and I grab the rock without a second thought. Standing up, I walk over and raise the large rock above his head. The sound of his skull breaking underneath the stone sends a spark through me and I find myself not being able to stop. Blood splatters everywhere and I hear the girl scream, but I don’t care. It feels too good to stop.
But most importantly, I’m finally free.
